1. The bears’ aggressive cuteness begs us banish it to a nebulous oblivion, doesn't it? Its manufacture, however, gave someone a whole few seconds of work, even if they got fluff in their trachea and eyes.
B. No sober person would buy this for themselves.Perhaps it's an impulse gift from your mother, or a stuffed animal you grabbed with a claw machine that you were glad wasn't bright blue (the animal, not the machine).It’s an inanimate stand-in reminding you of a person, an unanticipated hospital stay, or warning never to use that dating site again.
3. Brought to a developing country, this little guy could be significant in a way we couldn’t imagine--or may not wish to imagine, depending on if an adult or a child gets it and their religious affiliation.In any case, it would be a lot cooler there than it is here.
This weeks’ score reflects social ability, so it must be on a division scale, which is nice and capricious.*
Total Cosmic Score Points Possible Week Two: 39
35-39:Being at the top is great, but you have to kill stuff and you can’t sleep late.You are among The Rare Ones who can keep bananas from ripening too fast, and you are much admired.You would never sue anyone under any circumstances because you understand how much work is entailed.Stop talking about media cynicism to people you’re not trying to impress.
25-34: You are terrific at being good at Lots of Stuff.You covet the top spot, however, and you’re not the best at hiding that.This makes people believe that you might sue whether or not its their fault.You wouldn’t sue just for money, though.You are able to make giving a ride home to a friend of a friend comfortable for both of you.
18-24:You’ve learned to embrace the middle of the road and you can get along with a variety of people.You understand that being in the middle of the road means that you’re great at dodging things and that if you’re on a road with a nicely planted center divider you’re having a snack while everyone else is driving like crazy.No one knows if you would or wouldn’t sue, and if so, why.
10-17: It’s somewhere in this point category that someone says, “Are you not trying?” or “You’re better than this.”If the very idea of having to rebut those statements makes you want to take a nap, your instincts are good.Once in a while you endear yourself to others because you’ll say something like, “Can sharks fart?” People think you really would sue.
1-9: You either have poor people skills, which is frustrating, or you don’t care about keeping score which is sick cool.It’s possible for you to go to a function in your honor and fall asleep.You would never sue anyone under any circumstances because you understand that it’s a lot of work.You can be mature if necessary, like and when someone talked about “the stability of gas balls” you didn’t giggle.
No one gets a zero.How deeply do you want to go into the concept of nothing?
* Remember to add together your first and second week scores, write the number on a post-it and put it somewhere that makes complete sense at the time.
NOTE: For those who did not get a proper display of the Challenge Rules on May 27:
1. With each posting I will provide you with some sort of image, and you must decide the winner of the challenge: Being or Nothingness
2. The next posting will reveal the winner and why.
3. There may be times when it is difficult to determine the winner. In this case, choose which answer you think is the better of the two.
4. On occasion there will be a "Space Monkey Surprise." This means that the winner is both Being and Nothingness or neither Being nor Nothingness. And no, I don't know how that's supposed to work.
5. For each correct answer you will be awarded points that will go towards you Total Cosmic Score (TCS). It's important to keep track of your TCS, since it determines how close your collective fundamental beliefs come to The Real Answer. You can go ahead and cheat because nothing really cares. TCS points are assigned in a random and unfair fashion.
6. You really should be doing something better with your time.
The May 27 posting which, ironically, has the rules to the B v. N Challenge had some sort of read error if you are using Internet Explorer 6. The universe is toying with IE.
Dirk says...
Download IE 8 or or change to Firefox. Firefox is fab, but I'm saying that because it's what I use and I have Dirk to do all of my computer stuff. If I didn't have Dirk I'd be using a computer made out of dirt with an adobe keyboard in cuneiform.
This baby aye-aye is a miracle. He's worth remembering when you feel like you're sinking. One of the world's rarest animals is still around and having babies! You won't be shocked that he's not a monkey.
