I didn’t post the verbatim letter from the Masomenis Corporation on April 7th because I couldn’t find it. Starting with my July 2008 letter to the Masomenis Corporation about their home defibrillator through to this very day, all Being & Nothingness Cam Project correspondence is handwritten and keeping tract of it has been confusing. What if you were stuck in a world between the pre-Industrial Revolution and the 1980’s? Between raw sewage and Tears for Fears? Imagine a world without typewriters or computers.
It took me a while to realize that sticking letters and xerox’s of letters in the pages of my Webster’s New Universal Unabridged Dictionary couldn’t last. I started filing letters by writer in a little green metal box that I swiped from my sister Rose. It’s the ideal combination: it’s distinctive enough to find easily, small enough to loose easily, and old enough to really hurt yourself on the sharp corners.
The letter reads as follows:
Dear Ms. Holmes,
Thank you for your letter inquiring about the Masomenis Corporation’s TR-250 Home Defibrillator. We appreciate that you have specific questions about the use of the TR-250 and we are certainly happy to answer them. Per your request I have not enclosed a pamphlet answering the FAQ’s about the TR-250 but you will find a second brochure showing other home medical products made by the Masomenis Corporation.
We pride ourselves on our personal service and attention to each of our clients and I can understand that you believe that you have specific needs associated with this product. As you can see we respond to all questions in detail, but I would like to say emphatically that we do not recommend the TR-250 for use on any living thing besides humans. If you have additional questions please contact us at the address below.
Yours in health,
Raymond Horn, DLT
Address
That was the whole letter. First, what did “DLT” stand for? And second, a TR-250 is a kind of sports car. You can see that the letter is polite, appreciative, and useless. If the letter hadn’t been handwritten you would think that several paragraphs had been accidentally deleted. It looked like they were blowing me off. This letter spurred me into trying to find the Masomenis Corporation online to send an indignant email about their lack of information regarding a product I was never going to buy and then finding that they no longer existed anywhere on the web.
When I looked over this letter I saw that something was written on the back that I didn’t notice earlier. In pencil it says, “Most of the dust in your house is human skin.” Oh, lord. If I had noticed this when I first received the letter would that have been good or bad?
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