Total Cosmic Score: Week Two

This weeks’ score reflects social ability, so it must be on a division scale, which is nice and capricious.*

Total Cosmic Score Points Possible Week Two: 39

35-39: Being at the top is great, but you have to kill stuff and you can’t sleep late. You are among The Rare Ones who can keep bananas from ripening too fast, and you are much admired. You would never sue anyone under any circumstances because you understand how much work is entailed. Stop talking about media cynicism to people you’re not trying to impress.

25-34: You are terrific at being good at Lots of Stuff. You covet the top spot, however, and you’re not the best at hiding that. This makes people believe that you might sue whether or not its their fault. You wouldn’t sue just for money, though. You are able to make giving a ride home to a friend of a friend comfortable for both of you.

18-24: You’ve learned to embrace the middle of the road and you can get along with a variety of people. You understand that being in the middle of the road means that you’re great at dodging things and that if you’re on a road with a nicely planted center divider you’re having a snack while everyone else is driving like crazy. No one knows if you would or wouldn’t sue, and if so, why.

10-17: It’s somewhere in this point category that someone says, “Are you not trying?” or “You’re better than this.” If the very idea of having to rebut those statements makes you want to take a nap, your instincts are good. Once in a while you endear yourself to others because you’ll say something like, “Can sharks fart?” People think you really would sue.

1-9: You either have poor people skills, which is frustrating, or you don’t care about keeping score which is sick cool. It’s possible for you to go to a function in your honor and fall asleep. You would never sue anyone under any circumstances because you understand that it’s a lot of work. You can be mature if necessary, like and when someone talked about “the stability of gas balls” you didn’t giggle.

No one gets a zero. How deeply do you want to go into the concept of nothing?

* Remember to add together your first and second week scores, write the number on a post-it and put it somewhere that makes complete sense at the time.