Toaster crumb tray
Dirk, the cranky computer guy, is undermining his own business by being so good at problem solving and scrupulous maintenance that clients need him less. So he hangs around here because the Being & Nothingness Cam Project is nothing if not a hanging-around place. He’s become obliquely interested in the concept or lack thereof of Being & Nothingness, but his brain is constructed along very solid, straight lines that don’t tolerate wandering attention spans, staring into space, non-goal-oriented speculation, arguing for the hell of it, and reading ridiculous tomes to while away the time. And I’ve never seen him drink more than two cups of coffee, max, in a one hour period.
This morning he came in with a camera chip and showed me these photos, which he claims are the definitions of being and nothingness. He had taken out his toaster’s crumb tray (above) to clean it and saw that it was surprisingly clean. This was the Nothingness part. He didn’t remember ever cleaning the toaster, so he turned it upside-down over the sink (below), and hey! Being! The very definition! That man is one concrete thinker. We didn’t have a follow-up discussion about Being and Nothingness, because I don’t know enough about it to say that it doesn’t center around toasters.
I very much like Dirk’s philosophy towards cleaning. Cleaning should have clear parameters and rewards. My sister says that “she feels nice” when the house is clean. Really? That’s it? I clean to safeguard health and to get the jump on frightening smells. Outside of that, I clean to prevent or repel: killer drones, sharpshooters, untalented drummers aspiring to be front men, elephant-eating lions, inexplicable color changes, fraud, pestilence (Biblical and non-Biblical brands), clear-cut instances of predation, inanimate stuff moving, spontaneous generation, poor taste, and squiddies.
If a didgeridoo showed up in my kitchen with no explanation I’d probably throw it out.
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