In a good citizen attempt to shop locally I’ve been going to our nifty general store for as many household supplies as possible. I needed to get another couple of gallons of Nature’s Miracle, an actual miracle product you use to get rid of cat urine stains and smells. MJ, my Guinness-Book-of-Records-aged cat, had peed in roughly 40 places overnight and Sunday became clean-up day. Incidentally, if you have cats and haven’t tried this stuff have you got a treat in store. It could revive a sectional sofa that’s been peed on by every tom you’ve ever known (that's male cats, not guys named Tom).
I took along with me the charming teapot that I bought at the same store a month ago, because it stopped whistling and I knew that it was just a matter of time before I put the kettle on the stove, forgot it, and burned down the house like one’s 90 year-old granny. It hadn’t so much stopped whistling as its whistle had toned down to sounding like a teakettle with tuberculosis. The store was surprisingly infantile about taking it back, claiming that I must have misused it somehow. I ended up leaving a note for the manager to call me and went home to swab down the carpet.
Add to that that I had used my good poultry shears to cut flowers in my yard a few weeks back and now I can’t find them. By the time I noticed that I had lost my will to live, so I tried out a new bottle of white wine.
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